Lidt hjælp ? :D {{forumTopicSubject}}

Skulle skrive et referat på engelsk om en tekst vi havde læst. Jeg er okay til engelsk, men sys det er blevet en del sværre her på gym niveau
Vil i kigge det igennem ? bare lige efter hvad der kunne gøres bedre eller noget der lyder dumt og sårn :b

The shining mountain

The story is about a girl named Pangma-La. Her dad who is a famous mountaineer called her after a shining mountain. Pangma-La was teased about her name in school, but her dad told her she should stand tall and be proud and that there was enough ordinary Morag’s and Janet’s, and that she wasn’t a ordinary girl. As the year passed and Pangma-La grew older, her dad began to prepare her for climbing the shining mountain. The day comes for them to leave and climb the shining mountain that Pangma-La is called after. On the plane Pangma-La has a bad dream. When she wakes up again she was afraid, but she wouldn’t tell her father, because she’s afraid he would be disappointed in her. The plain lands and when they are about to start climbing, some Sherpa men asks them to carry their loads. Pangma-La’s father says no were proudly, he and his daughter were strong enough to carry them their self .At first Pangma-La climbs happily, but soon she began to be tired. Suddenly a Sherpa woman appeared. She offers her to carry her heavy sack, but Pangma-La shook her head, she was afraid to disappoint her father. That night she tells her dad about the woman, but her dad said that he had not seen any woman. The next day the Sherpa woman comes again and ask her to carry her heavy sack, and this time Pangma-La accepts her offer and in the evening she gets it back. On the third day the Sherpa woman comes again, offering her to carry her heavy clothes and cover her with swan feathers and Pangma-La accepts and at the evening she gets it back. On the fourth day Pangma-La was so tired, soon her legs couldn’t go another step, and she fell down the snow. The Sherpa woman appeared again, she offered to carry her heavy heavy heart and fell her with swan’s down. But at the evening the Sherpa woman didn’t gives Pangma-La her heart back. Pangma-La’s dad stood at the top of the mountain calling for his daughter when the Sherpa woman appears. She showed her the swan at her side, and told him that its was Pangma-La, but now she was her daughter forever. Pangma-La’s father was very angry and raised his ice-axe to strike the woman, but then a peal of thunder shook the mountain and threw him to the ground, and now he could she that its was the mountain goddess. She tolled him that she had given him his heart desire, to get Pangma-La to the top of the mountain. And Pangma-La’s father saw that she had given up her hole life to please him and he cursed him self, and wanted to jump of the edge to kill him self, but the goddess told him not to be so hasty, he had to fell the weight of the heavy sack, clothes and the heavy heavy heart. Pangma-La’s father fell down on his knees and cried. Then the mountain goddess though he had learn his lesson and gave him back Pangma-La. From then on Pangma-La was never afraid that her father would be disappointed at her again.

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#1 9. sep 2007 Haha. Det der lavede jeg i folkeskolen xD
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#2 9. sep 2007 The story is about a girl named Pangma-La. Her dad who is a famous mountaineer called( named ) her after a shining mountain. Pangma-La was teased about her name in school, but her dad told her she should stand tall and be proud and that there was enough ordinary Morag’s and Janet’s, and that she wasn’t a ordinary girl. As the year passed and Pangma-La grew older, her dad began to prepare her for climbing the shining mountain. The day comes (came )for them to leave and climb the shining mountain that Pangma-La is called( named ) after. On the plane Pangma-La has( had ) a bad dream. When she wakes ( woke ) up again she was afraid, but she wouldn’t tell her father, because she (was ) afraid he would be disappointed in her. The plain ( plane ) lands and when they are about to start climbing, some Sherpa men asks them ( if they should )carry their loads. Pangma-La’s father said no wery proudly, he and his daughter were strong enough to carry them themselves At first Pangma-La climbed happily, but soon she became tired. Suddenly a Sherpa woman appeared. She offered her to carry her heavy sack, but Pangma-La shook her head, she was afraid to disappoint her father. That night she told her dad about the woman, but her dad said that he had not seen any woman. The next day the Sherpa woman came again and asked her to carry her heavy sack, and this time Pangma-La accepted her offer and in the evening she got it back. On the third day the Sherpa woman came again, offering her to carry her heavy clothes and cover her with swan feathers and Pangma-La accepted and at the evening she got it back. On the fourth day Pangma-La was so tired, soon her legs couldn’t go another step, and she fell down in the snow. The Sherpa woman appeared again, she offered to carry her heavy heavy heart and fill her with swan’s down. But in the evening the Sherpa woman didn’t give Pangma-La her heart back. Pangma-La’s dad stood at the top of the mountain calling out for his daughter when the Sherpa woman appears. She showed her the swan at her side, and told him that its was Pangma-La, but now she was her daughter forever. Pangma-La’s father was very angry and raised his ice-axe to strike the woman, but then a peal of thunder shook the mountain and threw him to the ground, and now he could see that it was the mountain goddess. She told him that she had given him his heart desire, to get Pangma-La to the top of the mountain. And Pangma-La’s father saw that she had given up her whole life to please him and he cursed him self, and wanted to jump of the edge to kill him self, but the goddess told him not to be so hasty, he had to fell the weight of the heavy sack, clothes and the heavy heavy heart. Pangma-La’s father fell down on his knees and cried. Then the mountain goddess though he had learned his lesson and gave him back Pangma-La. From then on Pangma-La was never afraid that her father would be disappointed in her again.
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#3 9. sep 2007 du skal passe på med kommaer på eng for det er overhovedet ikke ligesom på dansk. Kan fx. se du har kommaer ved "but" og det skal der ikke være.

Så skal du også passe på med at springe rundt i tiderne. Det er meget bedre at skrive i nutid, det er også det man skal til eksamen hvor du skal lave et refarat af en engelsk tekst.

Og sidst men ikke mindst der skal kun "S" på uds. ord i 3.pers ental.

Altså He walkS, she runS osv.
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#4 9. sep 2007 Pas må med altid at skrive i samme tid - enten nutid eller datid - du må aldrig blande det. Jeg har rettet lidt til. Der hvor jeg har lavet parantes - er det for at give dig et mere korrekt ord. Senere i teksten har jeg rettet tiden lidt til og rettet et par stavefejl. Der udover er det fint.. held og lykke med det.. :o)
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#5 9. sep 2007
$$ Cowgirls have more fun $$ $ : Ih, tusind tak
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#6 9. sep 2007 Ja jeg er den værste knold til at blande nutid og datid !
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#7 9. sep 2007 Tak til dig også Jolly og Camino
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#8 9. sep 2007 Tinna : Ja det er lidt af et kinky navn xD
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#9 9. sep 2007 The story is about a girl named Pangma-La. Her dad who is a famous mountaineer named her after a shining mountain. Pangma-La is teased, because of her name, in school but her dad tells her that she must stand tall and be proud and that there is enough ordinary Morag’s and Janet’s and that she is not an ordinary girl.
As the year passes by and Pangma-La grows older her dad begins to prepare her for climbing the shining mountain. The day comes, for them to leave and climb the shining mountain, that Pangma-La is named after.
On the plane Pangma-La has a bad dream. When she wakes up again she is afraid but she will not tell her father because she is afraid that he will be disappointed in her.
The plain lands and when they are about to start climbing some Sherpa men ask them to carry their loads. Pangma-La’s father says no we are proudly(??) his daughter and himself are strong enough to carry it themselves .
At first Pangma-La climbs happily but soon she begins to be tired. Suddenly a Sherpa woman appeares. She offers her to carry her heavy sack but Pangma-La shakes her head she is afraid to disappoint her father. That night she tells her dad about the woman but her dad says that he has not seen any woman.
The next day the Sherpa woman comes again and asks her to carry her heavy sack and this time Pangma-La accepts her offer and in the evening she gets it back. On the third day the Sherpa woman comes again and offers her to carry her heavy clothes and cover her with swan feathers and Pangma-La accepts and in the evening she gets it back. On the fourth day Pangma-La is so tired. Soon her legs cannot go further and she falls down in the snow.
The Sherpa woman appeares again and she offeres to carry her heavy heavy heart and fell her with swan’s down (?). In the evening the Sherpa woman does not gives Pangma-La her heart back. Pangma-La’s dad stands at the top of the mountain calling for his daughter when the Sherpa woman appears. She shows him the swan at her side and tells him that it is Pangma-La but now she is her daughter forever. Pangma-La’s father is very angry and raises his ice-axe to strike the woman but then a peal of thunder shakes the mountain and throws him to the ground. Now he can see that it is the mountain goddess. She tells him that she has given him his hearts desire to get Pangma-La to the top of the mountain. And Pangma-La’s father see that she had given up her whole life to please him and he curses himself, and wants to jump out the edge to kill himself. The goddess tells him not to be so hasty he has to feel the weight of the heavy sack, clothes and the heavy heavy heart. Pangma-La’s father fell down on his knees and cried. Then the mountain goddess though he had learned his lesson and gives him back Pangma-La. From then on Pangma-La was never afraid that her father would be disappointed in her again.

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