Så er den færdig.. Engelsk stil. {{forumTopicSubject}}

In thoughts of you

What should I do? I can NOT keep it.

It would be easier if it was not happened. I can keep a baby. I don’t have time to it. I can’t keep it, I need to give it away, to one who can love the baby, and give it I nice childhood, the baby should grove up like me without a father, and I could not give it a good childhood, I work a lot, and I love it, I love my work and I have always worked hard to get where I am today. Maybe I can keep the baby, but then I need a lot of help from my mother, but I maybe think she will, she love children, and she lives right over there.

She still lives at the place where I get born. It’s long ago. It was when I have another name, Joan Smith. My new name is better, Roberta Powers. My mother (Dora Smith, shop assistant, single mom) still live here in her dear London, but I think there was a bit nicer in Manhattan, where me and my man Angelo Brandi (fashion designer) have lived the last 5 years.

Maybe I’m to young to get a child I’m just 29 years old, and it’s not old, so maybe I’m still to young, but next year I’m 30 than I’m maybe to old to get child. Oh, what should I do? I really don’t know what to do. In a place I would not be mother, because I want to do my work as modern Designer. And now it seems like my husband have lost the interest for me, he is never home, maybe he don’t like me anymore.

He is a bit like Joe Porter, he was car salesman, and he was, more interested in his cars. It was why we get divorced a year after our marriage. I meet Angelo the year I graduated from School of Modern Design in New York. And we were happy, but it seems like we are not so happy anymore.

But the baby, I can not keep it, I have worked very hard to get my work, first I go in Paddington Elementary School, and after that I get in London Stage Academy, and when I finished there I start on Cover Girl Model School.

Maybe I should go to the doctor, and ask her what she means about this, shut I get an abortion. Or should I keep the baby, I can also talk whit Angelo and hear what he thinks, he may have a word to this, but what if he say that he not is the father to the kid, how can I tell him, that he is the father, he don’t know yet that we get a baby, next year, we get it at summertime. The greatest time on the year, but how did I tell him it? Good diner to night, romantic? I can make it to night, I think I call him and ask him, about when he came home to night. Then I can make, what can I make? We can go into a restaurant, and after that in cinema. Then I guess that he would tell me if he don’t love me anymore. I need to know it.

Oh God, I think I fell asleep. I know it, I have made a decision I get the baby, and I keep it, and if Angelo not love me, he can go away, I get help from my mother, I think she will, she always said that if I need help, then I should come to her. He can keep away from me, I tell him it to night and if he gets angry, then he can get out of my life. And that’s the way it is.