Tilmeldt:
31. mar 2010 Følger: 72 Følgere: 68 Heste: 5 Emner: 44 Svar: 43
Rettelse af min engelsk stil? {{forumTopicSubject}}
Hejsa 
Jeg har virkelig brug for hjælp til at rette min engelsk stil. Normalt plejer min mor lige hurtigt at skimmelæse den, men hun har ikke tid da hun selv, skal lave lektier…
Håber virkelig der er nogle der vil hjælp?
Det er en ansøgning som hundevasker, har selv opdigtet noget.
Application as dog washer
Manager – Alistair Wood,
Animates 3/9
Wordsworth Street, Sydenham,
Christchurch
___________________________
Name: Jaqlin Ley
Age: 22
Person Number: 385904285
Address: Cricket Street 38 4000 Brisbane City, QLD Australia
Education: Zookeeper
Email address: JaqlinLey@youmail.com
Hallo my name is Jaquin. I am a sweet and very open person. I applicant your job as dog washer, because I love animals whit all my heart, and it do my so happy, when I was same with the dogs. I have many years experience whit dogs.
When we were little girl, my mom and dad had even a very big farm, whit a lot of horses, cats, cows, gets and 3 hunting dogs. My dad used the dogs, when he was on hunting. When he coming home, the dogs all time was very dirty, so they need a bath. I have all time had whit animals to do. I was a really dog lovers.
Now I not have a job, and going home whit my mom and dad and bored me. They have also a dog, I fit if they are on work.
I have adegree course as zookeeper. After I have taken the adgree, I begin to work whit a dog kennel in about 5 years. There we also between washing all the dogs, there coms in the shop.
I have all time fit my job, and I in the 5 years have worked in the dog kennel, I only have 7 sick days, and never come to late on my job. I am all time been praised for what I did. I stopped on the job because it went bankrupt.
I have 5 minutes, to yours shop, so I live tight on. Always I used to be good to fit in with the persons I must work with. Sometimes I can well be very quiet. I've often been down and visit your store, with my parent’s dog, for the washed. Your staffs seemed super sweet.
You should choose me for the job because I always fit my job, and getting into it with a positive mind.
From Jaqlin Ley
apr 2010
Følger: 100 Følgere: 93 Heste: 6 Emner: 80 Svar: 2.000
When we were little girls, my mom and dad had a very big farm, with a lot of horses, cats, cows, goats and 3 hunting dogs. My dad used the dogs, when he was hunting. When he came home, the dogs were very dirty all the time, so they needed a bath. I have allways interacted with animals . I am a real dog lover.
Now I do not have a job, and staying at home with my mom and dad bores me. They also have a dog, and I take care of it, when they are at work.
I have a degree as a zookeeper. After I took the degree, I started to work at a dog kennel for about 5 years. There we also washed all the dogs, that came in to the shop.
I have allways looked well after my job, and during the 5 years I
worked at the dog kennel, I only had 7 sick days, and i never turned up late at my job. I was allways praised for what I did. I quit the job because it went bankrupt.
I takes me 5 minutes, to go to your shop, so I live close to you.I have always been good at working and interacting with the people i work with . Sometimes I can be very quiet. I've often visited your store, with my parent’s dog, when it needed washing. Your staff seemes super friendly.
You should choose me for the job because I always take good care of my jobs, and is going into it with a positive mind.
Regards
Jaqlin Ley
Jeg har prøvet at rette uden at lave alt for meget om i den originale tekst. Det var svært, for du blander nu og datid.
Den er ikke perfekt, for der er en del sætninger der ville skulle laves om, men håber du kan bruge den til inspiration
okt 2008
Følger: 84 Følgere: 85 Heste: 4 Emner: 3 Svar: 271
I am a friendly and very open person. I would like to apply to your job as dog washer, because I love animals with all my heart, and it makes me so happy when I am with the dogs. I have many years of experience working with dogs.
When I was a little girl, my mom and dad had a very big farm, with a lot of horses, cats, cows, goats and 3 hunting dogs. My dad used the dogs, when he went hunting. When he came home, the dogs were very dirty all the time, so they needed a bath. I have always interacted with animals . I am a real dog lover.
Now I do not have a job, and staying at home with my mom and dad bores me. They also have a dog, and I take care of it, when they are at work.
I have a degree as a zookeeper. After I took the degree, I started to work at a dog kennel for about 5 years. There we also washed all the dogs, that came in to the shop.
I have always looked well after my job, and during the 5 years I
worked at the dog kennel, I only had 7 sick days, and i never turned up late at my job. I was always praised for what I did. I quit the job because it went bankrupt.
It takes me 5 minutes to go to your shop, so I live close to you.I have always been good at working and interacting with the people i work with . Sometimes I can be very quiet. I have often visited your store, with my parent’s dog, when it needed washing. Your staff seems super friendly.
You should choose me for the job because I always take good care of my jobs, and am going into it with a positive mind.
Best Regards
Jaqlin Ley
Jeg har rettet lidt mere i den.
Rettelse af min engelsk stil?